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Friday, October 19, 2007
Why the game
Playing hide and seek
Nameless, faceless
Being aware but just pretend
Ambushed
Yet in open
Just closing eyes
The ostrich effect
Seemingly innocuous
Baseless babble
Meandering
Just a pretext to
Keep playing the game
Whats in hold
A Mirage
The trove???
Who knows?
Perhaps
A labyrinth
An endless one
Not leading anywhere
It will move in circles
Like it had always been
So be it!!
Posted at 01:34 am by Tabassum
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Thursday, October 04, 2007
 Im NUMB.. totally NUMB right now... watched Dhoka.... and it has left me speechless! This movie has been fairly successful in driving the point home that how people tend to suspect Muslims every time there is a terror attack. It tries to tell the quintessential truth that no one is born terrorist. Some are brain-washed and stupid, illogical and destructive ideologies are fed to the credulous minds of peuriles, who are easily carried away. I feel there are just three things that drives human beings: love, hatred and patriotism! Playing around with any of these can actually insinuate a man to live or to die! And some commit the crime against humanity because at some point of time they have been victims of horrible atrocitites themselves. Whatever be it, I am feeling very heavy in my heart..I remember how my Grand-pa wasemphatically told to go to Pakistan, just because he asked a gang of unruly men not to make noise as Namaz was going on in vicinity, how my elder brother was scoffed at by suggesting that he will never bet on India and was made to seethe during India-Pak cricket match. How Kabir Khan was declared traitor since he loses match in Chak De India! I dont want to analyse who is correct, who is wrong.. but I am Numb nw.. my senses are paralysed! I know of a person who has witnessed barbarity during the Punjab riots..the incident is still etched on his soul.. perhaps he will never forget that in his lifetime, perhaps nothing can efface those sour, menacing memories!! There will be many more such victims- direct ones and the passive ones too! What is the solution???
Posted at 08:48 pm by Tabassum
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Monday, October 01, 2007
So Neel and Names here I am... 1.Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.
Hmmmm the story of scar can get scar-y!
Ummmmm which scar you talking of, the one on body or the one on soul!!
Ok ok baba, don't throw eggs at ma blog for that melodramatik stuff! 
Well I hav one on right knee, the result of me being an xcellento sports-woman! hahaha
2.What does your phone look like?
It looks like a miniature brick in Deep Plum color. I love my gadget! 3.What is on the walls of your bedroom?
A poster: a kid lovingly kissing the gal… a dried rose, a card for Miss Icon!
4. What is your current desktop picture?
Picture of Galina and her grand-pa (only hand) holding her! I love both of them. 5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
Yes, after all love is blind. y should the poor guys be blamed! 
6. What do you want more than anything right now?
Ummmm… im hopelessly romantic, and pointlessly quixotic. So let this territory remain unchartered! 7. What time were you born?
There are proven records that akkhi country was celebrating, the time when I was born!
8. Are your parents still together?
Well, just one question frm my side nw! The person who prepared this question, is he/she really that dumb, or this is a special effort?
9. Last person who made you cry?
The one whom I love the most! 10. What is your favourite perfume/cologne ?
For Him: Jovan Sex Appeal
For Me: Chanel No 5 and Bvlgari!
11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?
Any hair color wud do, as long as hair are there. Squintless eye preferred, color doesn't matter much!
12. What are you listening to?
Giggles of hostel gals enuf to give creeps to 'A' grade banshee!
13. Do you get scared of the dark?
Naaah!! Tho im scared of Dark hearts!
14. Do you like pain killers?
Nopes, used to the visits and prolonged visits of Mr Pain! 15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Howsoever brazen I try to act, I confess here, that I m rather shy to indulge in such adventurous activities!
16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
Well I would like to have Ice-Scream!!!  17. Who was the last person who made you mad?
One SOB prof!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr…… 18. Who was the last person who made you smile?
Mah Sweetu frend.. 19. Is someone in love with you?
Yeah, I hav that suspicion, not too sure tho! Now my turn peepz to tag U…
Names, Umang, Raj: TAGGED! 
Posted at 01:09 am by Tabassum
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Saturday, September 29, 2007
 Well, I am really not used to this kind of frippery, like filling those MCQ quesstionnaires and finding out how-romantic-your-boyfriend-is OR how-popular-you-are!! etc etc etc... But then I do have my bouts of childishness!  So heres the demonstration of that!! Well you too can indulge in this soul-searching, self-exploratory business by taking this quiz! Well, no surprises here coz the people who know me are aware that I
like everything that has got remotest connection with Strawberries! Courtsey: Here I should give Umang, the credit of me being declared the Strawberry Girl! Her blog entry made me take this juvenile exercise.  What flavour Ice-Scream Gal are You?
Posted at 02:40 am by Tabassum
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Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Marrying a Finance Dude!!
 One year has passed by… One year in this drab place learning
the most insipid yet alluring subject…yup im talking about the
glittering golden shine, the ruffling green panacea!!!
Being an Engineering Student, having a zilch background of
accounting, I had tough time understanding the difference between insolvency
and illiquidity. I doubt if I know the difference yet. Well, whenever I came
across the word accounting in past 1 year, I used to get hysterical and flutter
like fluttering aspens. Deep inside I still chide myself for going over-board
and having taken a brazen decision to pursue a course having the demonic papers
like international accounting, financial accounting and financial statement
analysis!! Phew!! Well, whenever I muster up courage to face the exams and
appear for these ruthless papers, the expression on my face is appropriate to
the sick bed of a close friend! 
The dudes and dudettes in my class talk in an
incomprehensible language that leaves me perplexed and as confused as ever! For
example they would say the beta of Miss X is all time high  or the venture
capital fund pouring from home ministry is not enough these days or even worse,
canteen wada doesn’t seem fresh, anna should use LIFO technique!!!
During the dreary season of exams, I get nightmares.. guess
wat?? Me married to a Finance guy!!
Even contemplating this idea horrifies me! He would actually
believe in spending the least on marriage functions and saving it as a “Capital
Reserve”.  In his balance-sheet, he would report this solemn event as Miscellaneous
Expenses and Contingencies. I havnt got even an ounce of suspicion that he wont
write-off these expenses and apply a straight line method!!!
Gosh, nightmares!!!
Posted at 04:57 pm by Tabassum
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Sunday, August 26, 2007
Honey, I know you've been alone,
Why don't you 'phone some, 'cause I love you.
An' honey, I know I've been away, & u too
I've had to pay some and you have too.
But the one thing I know: that when I, I turn out the light,
Visions of you, dance in the night.
I've been put down, pushed around, apprehended and led down town.
An' I can't help it if I'm out of sight,
'Cause I'm restless tonight.
I just can't stand being alone.
With your memories to haunt me
Get a restless feeling in my bones & I know,
That at times, it just won't go away.
So if it's all the same, I can't take the blame,
I can't play your game, what's true is true.
You broke my heart and abused the trust
Still I'll just pretend that I'll leave it up to you.
But the one thing I know: that when I, I turn out the light,
Visions of you, dance in the night.
I hav been up crying whole night
Thinking of days & nights we spent toghther
But the one thing I know: that when I, I turn out the light,
Visions of you, dance in the night.
I've been put down, pushed around, apprehended and led down town.
An' I can't help it 'Cause I'm restless tonight.
Posted at 01:37 pm by Tabassum
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Thursday, June 07, 2007
"Without Love, we are birds with broken wings" So very true... Sure there are hoardes of other people around, freinds, associates, orkut freinds, chat freinds but its not the same as having someone who will not leave you. A chat for some time, even a couple of hours is different than having a long-term life long relationship.
A key to having a strong ever-lasting relationship is giving away oneself to emotions. Do not hold them back. If you do so,if you dont allow yourself to go all the way through them- then you are afraid of vulnerability that loving entails. By throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way; you experience them fully and completely.
Unfortunately, some people are always wary and suspicious.They just dont let themselves dive in, dont have faith in relationship, ready to break all the ties in an instant. These are the people so hungry for love that they start accepting substitutes. They embrace material things, indulge in superficial and shallow relationships and expect a sort of hug-back. But it never works and it never worked. You cant substitute the material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for that shower of affection and utmost care.
And there is a great confusion in hearts and minds over what we want versus what we need.
You need food , you want chochlate sundae. You need one loving person, while you want everyone else to be your freind and love you. But you really dont get satisfaction from the things "you want". You really need to know what gives you satisfaction. Perhaps finding a meaning in life could help. This would certainly not entail running after hoards of people trying to socialise with them, while alienating and carelessly ignoring the loved ones. This is just a smokescreen and would not lead anywhere. Instead would leave one more famished for love than ever.
You realize the futility of your running away and substituition act, especially when you are facing tough times, when you are not doing so well. Friends are great, but then they are not going to be there on a night when you are terribly ill and cant sleep and someone has to sit up all night with you, comfort you, try to be helpful.
In a relationship you get tested, you find out who you are, who the other person is and how you accomodate or dont.
The acid test of the strength of relationship is your belief in the importance of your relationship, how much of priority you give to it.
The best investment is in human family. In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. But Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own. Problems may arise, but then they have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both the parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life they want to be like.
Inspired by Tuesdays with Morrie
Posted at 06:49 pm by Tabassum
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Sunday, May 20, 2007
Linking Park- Amazing lyrics
Linking Park!
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
can't you see that your smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you.
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow,just caught in the undertow]
and every second I waste is more than I can take.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
[tired of being what you want me to be]
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
[tired of being what you want me to be]
Posted at 11:56 am by Tabassum
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Embarked upon a new course, a new path altogether!!! How does it feel????
Wont use words like awesome, wonderful, enchanting etc etc… So how does it feel???? in a word I can sum up my feelings for now.. im feeling 'different'.. yeah just 'different'!!! Not that this is the first time hands-on…. But then going back after a year of classroom teaching…acts as a good breather! So the summer training has started… Today everything went fine...was gonna run wid my life on palms for the commuting routine..but then wat the heck? got a convenient conveyance :) Day time.. had to do sum PR in the office n extract sum Big-B contacts out of ppl..and whoa! sumhw i managed to do a lot... i mean a loooooooooooot! didnt hv lunch wid me, thot i hav a stroll down the alley n search for options..but then destiny brot a smoked chicken sub for me to feast on! Sounds good...my hair too remained silky and flowing the whole day without ever giving me a 'Jhadoo' feeling!! :Dshuttling back..waddya do..dangle arnd, juggling to catch up and save urself frm falling dwn...but lo! this time too had Providence smilingly saying, Hey kiddo, I hv arrangements for U!!So all in all the day ws good! Only snag..didnt get the call i had been waiting for! *sigh* Waiting for tommorow!
Posted at 11:53 am by Tabassum
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006
One of the heart-wrenching and effusive gazals by Meena Kumari.... My fav... Tukde-tukde din bita, dhajji-dhajii raat mili Jiska jitna aanchal tha, utni he saugat mili Rimjhim-rimjhim boondo mein, zahar bhi hai aur amrut bhi Aankhe haas di, dil roya, yah aachi barsaat mili Jab dil chaha dil ko samjhey, haasney ki aawaz suni Jaise koi kehta ho, le fir tujhko maat mili Maatey kaisi, ghaatey kya, chaltey rehna aadh pahar Dil-sa saathi jab paaya, bechaini bhi saath mili Hootho tak aatey-aatey, jaane kitney roop bharey Jalti-bhujhti aankhon mein, saada-si jo baat mili.
Posted at 09:55 pm by Tabassum
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